Controlling perfume: wearing a perfume made for influence

What this perfume is for, in plain language

Controlling perfume handmade is a perfume used to influence people around you when you are wearing it. It does not promise a particular conversation, a particular decision, or a particular person changing their mind. It describes a worn perfume for work around influence, and the rest of the work is yours: how you carry yourself, what you say, and what you are actually asking for in the room.

Influence is a broad word, and a broad word makes for a vague working if you let it. Before you wear a perfume like this for a purpose, narrow it down. Are you going into a negotiation, a difficult conversation, a meeting where you need to be heard, or a room where you tend to be talked over? Those are different situations, and they call for different preparation, even if the perfume in the bottle is the same. Write the situation down in one clear sentence. If you cannot, you are not ready to dress the working yet, and the sentence is the first part of the work.

There is also a difference between being influential and being overbearing, and it matters in practice, not just in principle. A perfume worn for influence works best, in my experience, when it steadies you and sharpens your presence, rather than when it is used as a substitute for listening. People notice when they are being listened to. They also notice when they are not. No scent changes that. Wear the perfume, and then do the ordinary work of the conversation well: speak clearly, keep your word, and know when to stop talking.

Perfume as a worn working, not a room working

Most of the tools on this site are made for a working space: incense fills a room, a seal sits on an altar, a candle burns in one place. A perfume is different, because it goes with you. It is worn on the skin, it moves through rooms with you, and it stays close to you through the whole encounter. That closeness is the point. You are not setting a space apart and then stepping into it. You are carrying the working on your own person, into ordinary rooms, ordinary meetings, and ordinary conversations.

That also means the preparation is different. You do not prepare a room. You prepare yourself. Bathe, dress deliberately, and put the perfume on as a deliberate act, not as an afterthought while you are already halfway out of the door. Name the purpose, quietly, in your own words, as you apply it. That moment of naming is what turns putting on scent into a working, rather than into grooming. It takes only a few seconds, and it changes the rest of the day, because you have told yourself what you are doing and why.

A worn perfume also asks for restraint. A little, applied deliberately, is a working. A great deal, applied anxiously, is just a strong smell, and a strong smell in a small room pulls attention in the wrong direction. Apply it the way you would any good perfume, to the usual places, and let it sit. The work is not in the quantity. It is in the clarity of the purpose behind it.

How perfume is made here

I hand make all of my own perfumes, colognes and oils from only pure essential oils, roots and herbs. I do not use any extraneous ingredients or fillers. I also do not use any synthetics. Sometimes there is the odd gemstone thrown in as well. That is the general making statement for the perfumes, colognes and oils on this site, and it applies to the way this perfume is approached: made by hand, from real materials, for this kind of work, not blended in bulk from synthetic scent.

Each batch is hand made when you order, not pulled from a warehouse shelf months in advance. That made-to-order point matters for a worn working, because the perfume has not been sitting, opened and closed, through other people's orders. It is made for your order, and then blessed by me myself before it is sent out. I make no promise about what it will do for you, only that it is made by hand, for this work, and not mass produced.

If you have sensitivities to essential oils or to scented products, be careful with any perfume worn on skin. Test a small amount first, or apply it to clothing rather than skin if that suits you better. A perfume you cannot comfortably wear will not help you in a room, however well it was made. Comfort, in this case, is part of the working, not a distraction from it.

Preparing for the encounter itself

Before the meeting, the conversation, or the room you are walking into, prepare the words as well as the scent. Know what you want to say, know what you are willing to agree to, and know where your line is. Influence without a clear position tends to drift into agreeableness, and agreeableness is not the same as being heard. A clear position, stated calmly, carries further than a long speech, and it carries further still when you are not rushing to fill every silence.

Think, too, about the person or people on the other side of the conversation. Influence is not a one-way act. The people around you have their own concerns, their own pressures, and their own reasons for saying yes or no. A working that only considers your side of the table is a thin working. Spend a few minutes considering what the other person actually needs from the encounter, and whether there is an outcome that serves both sides. That is not softening the work. It is making it realistic.

On the day itself, keep the rest of your preparation simple. Arrive in good time, dress in a way that suits the room, and give yourself a few minutes before you go in to settle. Put the perfume on deliberately, as described above, and then stop fussing with it. Once you are in the room, your attention belongs on the people in front of you, not on the scent on your wrist. If you keep checking it, you are not present, and presence is the thing the perfume is meant to support.

Being specific about what you want

Reflection about being specific is worth repeating here, because it is where most influence work goes thin. Vague work tends to produce vague results, and vague results are hard to read afterwards. If you want a decision, say which decision, and by when, in your own private preparation. If you want to be heard, say what you want to be heard about. If you want a relationship to shift, say in which direction, and what you are prepared to change yourself to make that shift possible.

That specificity also protects you from misreading the outcome. If you go in with a vague hope of generally being more influential, almost anything afterwards can be read as success or failure, and neither reading teaches you anything. If you go in with a clear, single-sentence purpose, you can look back afterwards and say, plainly, whether that purpose was served, and what part of the encounter actually moved. That record is how you learn to work well, rather than just working often.

Keep a short note after each wearing for a purpose: the date, the situation in one sentence, what you did, and what you noticed afterwards, over days rather than only in the hour itself. Note the ordinary details too: what was said, what was agreed, what was left open. The ordinary details are often where the real change shows up, and they are easy to forget if you only record the dramatic moments.

What not to do

Do not wear a perfume for influence as a substitute for preparation. If you have not thought through what you want, what you will say, and what you will accept, the perfume will not supply those things for you. It supports a working. It does not replace one. The same applies to ordinary-world matters: if the situation is legal, financial, or a matter of safety, deal with it in the ordinary world first, or at the same time. Ritual work is not a substitute for a lawyer, a contract, or for leaving a dangerous situation.

Do not apply a perfume internally, and do not apply it to broken skin. It is made for wearing and for ritual use, from essential oils, roots and herbs, and it should be treated as a perfume and a ritual preparation, not as a food, a medicine, or a skin treatment. If it irritates your skin, stop using it on skin, and consider clothing application instead, or set it aside.

Do not repeat the same working endlessly in the hope that repetition alone will force a result. Wear it for a purpose, observe, and then decide, calmly, whether a second wearing for the same purpose, a different approach, or no further working is the right next step. Repetition without reflection is not persistence. It is noise.

When this is not the right work

Sometimes the right answer is not an influence working at all. If the situation calls for honesty rather than persuasion, for an apology rather than a negotiation, or for walking away rather than winning the room, then the honest, difficult action is the work, and no perfume changes that. It is worth asking, plainly, before you dress for influence, whether influence is really what the situation needs, or whether it is just what you wish it needed.

It is also worth asking whether the outcome you want is one you would be comfortable naming out loud, in plain language, to a person you trust. If you cannot name it plainly, that is information. Sit with it before you proceed. A working you cannot state clearly to yourself is not ready to be worn into a room.

Controlling perfume handmade

A perfume used to influence people around you when you are wearing it, hand made from pure essential oils, roots and herbs, with no synthetics and no fillers, made when you order and blessed by me myself before it is sent out. I make no promise about what it will do for you, only that it is made by hand, for this work.

If you want the perfume for that work, this is the one I offer: Controlling perfume handmade, $108 CAD. View the product

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